Sadness

Sadness is a feeling I usually try to avoid because it doesn't work out so well for me. But every once in a while it sneaks up on me and bites me. Today was one of those days. When I have one of those days all I want to do is curl up into a tiny ball and cry, yet as an adult that is not always a way that it can be handled. For example, today when I was at work those feelings of overwhelming sadness overtook me and of course I can't curl up and block out the rest of the world. I have 20 kids counting on me to be their world.

I have also realized that my moments of overwhelming sadness stem from a variety of things. Very rarely am I just sad for one reason in particular. It is usually a culmination of things that have been occurring. I consider myself a fairly optimistic person, so I usually try to find the bright side of things and put the negative side away. Well all of those negative feelings eventually add up and begin to overflow...thus my rush of sadness.

But of course I did what any good person would do. I struggled through my day and then came home and had a good old fashioned cry. Those are the best. Somehow every time I cry, I can physically feel the emotion being released. And then of course I took a nap because i was physically drained from my emotional outburst (which i am totally entitled to) . I woke up feeling better, not perfect...but better. Those feelings are still in there right now and I am dealing, but at least the overwhelmingness has diminished.