Needy

Needy- I looked up the definition because this a word I would use to describe myself and one I am sure others would also use--especially anyone who has been in a relationship (romantic or platonic). And here is what I found.

Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree

Wow, if that dosen't describe me then I don't what else does, not so much attention but affection and reassurance. I am in constant need of affection and reassurance. I need those words of affirmation to help my self esteem. Which I know should come from inside, but for me it dosen't.

My question is where did that stem from? I had a normal childhood with a mom who told me she loved me everyday . I never felt that I was unloved in anyway, yet when it comes to relationships I am the "needy" person. I want to know everyday that someone cares and that I am still doing what they need me to. When I don't get that I tend to get worried and stressed. I start to think to much (which is not a good thing) and then begin to doubt myself. I am quite sure that this is not an attractive quality, but it is one that I can't seem to shake. I have times when I get better, but that nagging sense of needing is always there.

And with my current situation the idea of dating has me thinking more and more about that. When you are married, that person accepts you regardless, they have to. When you are beginning something, you have to really think alot more about yourself (positive and negative). And this is one of the those negative qualities that I am worried about getting in the way of my happiness.

I do think I have gotten better, thanks to my wonderful friend Al who has taught me a lot about myself. But, it is still there. If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear it. Until then, I will continue to work on this, yet knowing I can improve but proably will always be that "needy" person. Not positve, but who I am.