Television Marathon

So those of you who know me know that I am not much of a television watcher. I have my two or three shows that I TIVO and that is all i watch. I don't sit around and scroll through the television seeing what is on...it is just not my thing.

Well this week I have somehow become addicted to television marathons. I am pretty sure that I have watched more TV in the last three days than I have in the last two months ( not an exaggeration). Ian is addicted to television and while he was hanging out at my house over break, he turned on Bravo...instant addiction. I watched 3 hours or Millionaire Matchmaker and then the next day when I turned on television it was still on Bravo. And yet another TV show marathon was playing. This time it was Real Housewives of Atlanta. As as I am typing this I am going into my third hour of the Deadliest Catch. I am starting to realize how people get addicted to this television thin.  I think my brain may be going to mush right now, but at least I am enjoying myself.

These marathons start and then you can't pull yourself away. You have to watch the drama unfold before you eyes. I have found myself procrastinating to see if NeNe is going to tell Kim off or it the storm is going to cause a huge problem for the crew. So I am hoping that my next week off delivers some more mindless marathons.

Blog

It is amazing how many of my friends have gotten into blogging lately. It is great fun to see everyone getting on the bandwagon. I love blogs and I love reading others blogs and how much fun it is when I actually know them. I am so excited that my list of blogs to read keeps slowly filling up. Welcome to the writer's world (or at least the world for people who can't get a real writing job).

Meds and Crying

Well, for those of you who know me know that I am a little anxious (that is quite an understatement). Well of course I am now on Zoloft(and have been for quite awhile) which has controlled my anxiety. I still worry alot, but I am pretty sure that now it is what a normal person would do, not something that completely takes over my life. Well, anyway the wonderful meds that I take have pretty much wiped out my ability to cry and man do I miss it. Before, crying was my sweet stress relief and now, no longer. I have to be extremely upset to have tears even well up in my eyes. And even when I do cry it lasts about a minute as I squeeze a few tears out.

It is weird to think that I would miss crying. But I do, I miss have that overwhelming feeling and feeling it slowly seep out with each tear and sob that escapes. I would have a good ol' fashion crying fit and then could literally feel the weight lifted off my shoulders. But no longer.... Well I haven't refilled my prescription in a few days and I am actually able to have one of those good cries. I just finished it up and I feel much lighter. I know it is wierd.... but I feel very satisfied right this minute.

Brain dead

I hate when you really want to blog and your brain is so dead that you can't possibly think of one measly thing to write. Unfortunately this happens more to me than I would like to admit. Today is one of those days. So after finishing my glass of wine I plan to drift off to a peaceful sleep.

ER Visit

So I had Camp Wildwood last night! Basically we take our fifth graders to a camp and we do camp stuff and spend the night. Well everything was wonderful and I had so much fun with my group. Well lights out time came around and I got all of my girls in bed and bundled myself up to go to bed also.

I had been laying for about 10 minutes when all of a sudden my palms and bottoms of my feet starting itching like crazy. I couldn't get them to stop. Next thing I know I am beginning to feel a little nauseous. I got up to get some fresh air and was just sitting with the people who were "on duty" (aka--awake).

I was sitting there (still itching my palms and feet which are now currently bright red) when it felt like my tongue was beginning to swell and then my throat started constricting and I couldn't breathe very well. They went to go find the camp nurse (which of course they didn't know which cabin she was in--which would have been funny had i been able to breathe correctly). Basically she gave me some Benedryl and that didn't help to much.

So a midnight run to the ER, a shot of cortisone, and one rude nurse later and I was back in business. Finished out my night of camp and still have no clue what my allergic reaction was to. At least today I am able to breathe fully.

It hurts...

Why is it that sometimes doing something for yourself requires you to hurt others. I need some time off and for some reason that has required me to hurt someone I care deeply about. I know I need the time, yet it still hurts so bad!!

I am a very private person (which thanks Allison for reiterating that tonight :) ) and I take care of things by myself. I am not one to talk about my feelings--instead I retreat into my shell, ponder and write until I have come to a conclusion. I would also include painting and listening to lots of music in there as part of my therapy as well. I wonder what that says about me and what other people think about that. I wish I had the ability to turn to other people but this has always been how I have been...sorry itc!!

I am worried that my inability to turn to people will turn on me and I could be by myself for a very long time. And unfortunately will all of the changes in my life I have lots of things to mull over. I have been one person for 10 years and now that I am on my own I am not sure of who I truly am when I stand on my own two feet. And what a big decision to decide that. And I am worried that may require a little bit of an extended stay in my shell to figure out....

American Idol

Yes I did it. Not only did I go to the American Idol concert, I wore matching David Cooks shirts with my family. We actually had a blast. They got to experience the Power and Light District for the first time, we got to spend quality time together and listen to some music. It was a great family bonding experience. I took a few pictures so you could appreciate the matching outfits. Oh and of course so you could enjoy some of my favorite idols-- hometown boy David Cook, Jason Castro and Carly!!!
Hope you aren't too jealous!

Baker

I have been quite the baker lately. This is not something that I ususally do, but since I am doing it for others it seems much more fun. Especially since I can't even eat most of it since I am on diet. I am very thankful that I have friends to bake for. So, if you are in the mood for something baked, just let me know... I would love to help you out!!

Getting older sucks

It is quite apparent that I am getting old.I used to be able to go out, put several drinks down, and be bright-eyed and bushy tailed the next day. Not anymore!! As I get older, I can't function quite as well the next day. In fact, I am not really functionable at all. Instead, I pretty much am a big lump who's head and stomach hurt with every move. Wow, all the fun I have at the time is totally not worth it the next day! Hopefully I have learned my lesson, but I am sure it will not be the last time!

Home Search

So I am in the process of looking for a house or townhome to rent. I didn't realize that it would be such a pain in the butt. From what I have looked at rent=crap. I just want a nice place where I can feel safe and am struggling to find it. It is stressing me out completely!!! AAAAHHHH!

Am I closer to normal

So the average person spends approximately 4 hours a day sitting in front of the television rotting their brain. I have been completely not normal as I would go a entire week without once turning on the television.

I know, I know this is shocking and some people find me very odd for that matter. But I am here to tell you that I am becoming a little more normal. First I can't exist without my DVR so I can record shows and watch them at my leisure. I am not one to stick to a schedule. So I tape what I want to see and then watch it on my own time.

For those of you who find me "abnormal" I know that you will happy to see me getting closer to normal. Now I am not anywhere close to the four hour range (more like one hour--on my long nights) but at least I am finding out about pop culture and becoming a more "normal" American.

What I will miss...

My house is on the market and unfortunately there hasn't been much luck getting it to sale. I am so ready for it to be sold and to be done with it, but today I was thinking about that. There is one part of my house that I am going to miss sooooo much.

It is not a part most people would proably consider that important, especially in this time of quick readiness and showers. You guessed it...It is my bathtub. When we built it I was very adament that I wanted a jet tub so I could relax in it. And was that ever one of my best choices.

Tonight I was thinking about it because I was using it. Let me explain the ritual I have when I use this tub. First, I have to make sure that I have candles lit and the lights turned off. This helps to create that relaxing atmosphere that I lack in all the other areas of my life. And of course I have to have my ipod with me. Lights out, ipod blaring, and occasionally a good glass of wine helps to make it relaxing.

So tonight as I was soaking and belting out Norah Jones, I was thinking how I would miss that bathtub. I have done lots of thinking, discovered some of my favorite songs, had a few good crys, and learned about myself there. It's is wierd that of everywhere in my house, this is one place that I deem most important. I think it is because when I am in the bathtub it is "me" time. I do not have to worry about anything else! I will miss singing, thinking, and reflecting while soaking in that wondefully relaxing tub!

Thunderstorms

I love thunderstorms!! They are one of my favorite things. I love the sound the thunder makes as it creates a low rumble in the distance. It gets louder and more frequent as it gets closer. A flash of light steaks through the sky and I know it is time to start my routine.

My favorite thing to do when it is storming is to read. I put on comfortable clothes and then make sure that I have a window opened in the room I will be in. I love to hear the soft pitter patter as rain hits the ground and it so much more real when my window is open. I also love the smell of the rainstorm, so the open window allows me to indulge in both of those sensations. I curl up and wrap myself in a blanket and begin to indugle.

As I am reading I periodically stop to enjoy the sound, smell, and sight of the thunderstorm. It makes me so happy to be so relaxed and enveloped in a setting that helps keep me relaxed. I wish I could do this everyday...maybe I should move to Seattle!!

Mystery smells

Now, I have never been one to brag about the power of my sniffer. I am the person who is in a group and everyone else is wrinkling up their face and pointing out the disgusting smell, and I am just sitting there thinking I can't smell anything. Now if something is horrible of course I can smell it, but those everyday nasty smells don't effect me. Which as I am writing, I realize that I am lucky for that reason.

Well anyway the last two days my nose has kicked into high gear for some reason, and how I do I wish I could go back to my low-functioning nose. So the last few days these two horrible smells have affected me. And not just that I could smell them, but as I think about them now... I can still smell them. I think it is because I never figured out what the source was, so my brain is still trying to process.

The first smell was in a Hy-vee. I walk in and this disgusting smell overtakes me. It continues through the store and I can't concentrate because this overwhelming smell is consuming my thoughts. First, I am completely certain that the manager should have been doing something to clean the smell (not good for customers). And second, the fact that no one else seemed to notice. They just kept on with their shopping no change in facial expression. I am sure it was one of the worst smells I have smelt in a while and everyone just went about their shopping like it was no big deal. And of course I am still wondering what on earth is was.

Second, I am at a friends house last night and this smell starts to seep into the basement. Luckily the others smelled it, but we couldn't find the source. Well. We finally realized it was coming from their light (this has happened to them before). So she gets on a chair and looks in the light but there is nothing there. Yet, it is still oozing this awful smell into the house. The mystery of the whole thing is what keeps it in my mind. This awful smell (think rotting animal), yet no source.

Weird that the two times my olfactory sense decides to kick in, there is no source. So it will continue to resonate in my head and nose.

Word of Warning

An entire bottle of wine equals a headache the following day.

Worst Part of my Day

The worst part of my day is always the beginning. I hate every morning because I have to get up. I am the type who wants to sleep until I wake up, not be startled awake by some annoying buzz (no music for me or I will keep on sleeping). But every morning it is always the same. I am sleeping nice and cozy in my bed. Of course, I am nice and warm because I am sandwiched in between two wonderfully, enormous dogs. Pleasant dreams are running throughout my head, and then all of a sudden... BUZZZZZ. There goes my wonderful dream and my sense of peace. It is time to start the day and I am not ready. I want to crawl to the bottom of my bed and hide from the world, but unfortunately as a adult that solution doesn't work out. So, I do the next best thing. Hit snooze. AAAHH those 7 extra minutes of sleep are like heaven. It is more like 21 because I hit snooze several times. Then, I frantically realize that I will be now running late but those extra minutes of bliss were totally worth it. I roll out of bed grudgingly and then realize that I have my life to live. I am ready to start the day.